What am I focusing on right now when I spend time with Grace? The short answer is, I am continuing to build a solid foundation. If you don’t know us that answer may lead you to believe that Grace is a youngster, but no, she is about to turn 18 in just over 2 weeks time; and I’m still building a foundation.
The meaning of the word foundation in this sense has changed for me over the years. Previously I might have described it as a set of skills that need to be in place before further training can take place and be successful.,
Now I might describe it as developing the components of a mutual language so that a meaningful conversation can take place.
We may believe we have a solid foundation in place until something isn’t working in the way we would like, then we have to go back and find out where the holes are, this can sometimes feel like starting again as we revisit our fundamental building blocks.
In a recent online lesson with Lockie Phillips, my question for the session was “How do we know when increasing clarity around a request we are presenting to the horse, becomes a “make”?”
This is a snippet of what I took away from our conversation and the practical exercise which followed.
When we ask the horse to do something for us and they come back to us with a different answer to the one we were looking for, an action we didn’t ask for, the most common response to this scenario is to say the horse is confused and that we should ask again with more clarity. Another way of looking at it is that the action the horse has presented to us is also a request, now from them to us. Maybe they are asking us to wait a minute; THEY need more time to think about this. Maybe they are asking us to wait a minute because WE need to be more present and patient, perhaps our mind is already way ahead of theirs and so, for them, it is impossible for us to do something TOGETHER in that moment.
It doesn’t really matter what the meaning is, what is important to the horse in that moment is that we hear there is another side to the conversation. When we are open to that their meaning becomes clearer.
When I can find this level of patience and listening, and I can give Grace the time she needs to think about something or me the time I need to truly be present, she will follow through with such ease and grace that I know it has been worth the wait. I get a strong sense of how our conversation can feel when it is well balanced between the two of us.
This is the foundation I am now building on a deeper level because it wasn’t strong enough to support the depth of conversation I’m seeking. Only when we can have a balanced conversation can we move away from strong physical cues and dominant training practices.
What I love about my lessons with Lockie is that the conversations we have, his answers to my questions and his support in putting the principals into practice with Grace are totally in alignment with what I want to learn right now.
I often feel I am going against the grain of the wider equestrian world in the way I choose to interact with Grace and that can lead to some level of self-doubt. It is reassuring to have my beliefs and actions validated, in the same way that I am able to do for others when I am helping them with their horses, dogs or other animals.
